still

I took off without even saying goodbye I know. I figured I’d be breaking my promise all over again anyway. It was enough that I had seen you after a long time already but I guess that didn’t really mean anything did it? It’s funny, it all feels like nothing really happend and things haven’t really changed much I guess. It’s probably going to stay that way for a couple more years.
I don’t hear anybody else complaining so why bother? I didn’t even expect things to turn out a little bit right for the last few minutes that you and I talked. We both wanted to talk to each other I know but I couldn’t understand why something had kept you from doing it more. I had needed you for once in my life I knew I couldn’t live without you, but I guess you’ve proven me wrong all along.
Yes, I probably cried in some point, but who doesn’t? I’m just not too shy of wanting to let others know how I feel, and I guess I wanted to tell you that there’s a lot more from where it came from.
Now all I can do is sit back, relax and be my old self again and be misunderstood for the rest of my life.
maybe , I too have just misunderstood the both of you

mandoll

I turned to where the lights were and found only worn out pictures of me in it and it’s funny I never found yours.
I kept looking all over again hoping to find you in them but there never was, and I guess somehow, I’ve finally given up the search.
Things would never be the same now that I’ve moved on I guess. From where I am now is a place that hurts but is a place that forgives, and I for one have learned to forgive. Something that you’ve yet to discover for yourself.
I hope you’d learn this well enough before even time runs out, I’m most certain time waits for no one exactly no matter how hurt you were, or how hateful you’ve become.
I’m hoping you’d figure this out before we come to our senses.
goodnight and thank you!

the lights down

I wanted to share this last piece before I went ahead and turn the lights down, tonight would have probably been the last straw of what was holding us together. Even the coldest nights would have never been enough to set things free now that I’ve lost my precious.

Somehow, I could only wish for things to become forever, and I for one could attest that now is probably the perfect time to realize the end is sometimes a beginning. And I find it hard to believe that I’m forced to accept another song ending.

I would like to cross this path someday and never wish to remember any of these. Like a song that has never been played again, a song that was once heard of for many years ago and I wish I’d never had remembered any of it, not a single note.

I hope to wake up again and realize that all was just a bad dream and that you never really did exist.

Or maybe you just never really did.

to a perfect stranger

Hi...
I didn't get your name last night but I wish I had. It happened all too fast and I wish I hadn't been to caught unaware.
I noticed you around but I didn't really care to make any conversation because I didn't know what to say.
I knew you were staring at me but I didn't know what it was for. How could you have done this without even explaining . Now you got me all too sleepless.
I pretended to not have noticed but when I turned to you, you smiled at me and I couldn't help but notice those beautiful eyes. That Sweet smile...
This is the first time I've felt this for the past eight years of my life... I never knew you'd throw this at me like this and I didn't even get a name or a number.
But I thought who cares, maybe I'm just Imagining and none of this were ever real. I turned again to look at you the second time and there you were smiling still.
I panicked and told the driver to pull over, I hurried out the jeep and tried desperately to convince myself that none of this were ever real. I can't have you anyway, and If I did... You were just going to make my life miserable.
I didn't want to go just yet, I wanted to get your name... I wanted to talk to you.
When the Jeep went off I turned to look back to see you, and there I saw you smiling even more. The sweetest smile I ever saw.
Who ever you are... Thank you.
I wish I could see you again.

orginal post last September 09, 2007 from www.exentrixx.blogs.friendster.com

This letter goes out to the one I’ve always loved

You were always like an old song that I keep for myself. So mysteriously played in my mind no matter where and what I'd do. We both have been so alone and I guess some of us might have thought it's over
You know i'd never let go, but you just had to find a way to get through to me, I probably can't play your game because I won't be able to understand you anyhow
neither can you, If you ever want to talk, you know where to start.

Somewhere in time II

When everything is over I hope it'll be much easier to accept than it is now. I know it's never too easy to finally forget something you've always longed for, and when it finally came to you, you realize everything was too good to be true.
Then you start to accept things the way they are, and that you just had to let go. Keeping you here was never the best idea I had in mind, it was what I felt was good and that was all I ever cared for.
I know I've learned my lesson well now that I've lost you, but then again, I know you just had to do what was right. You just had to do what everyone else had expected you to do.
Now I only have myself to look after, In a few years maybe, who knows, I might have found myself peace like never before. I might have found the things that had been promised to me for so long that I had forgotten what it was.
Like an old song that's never been played long enough for some people to remember, I remember how it used to play and how it used to make me feel. But I was young then, now I could hardly tell the words apart from it. I'm forgetting how it all started, but I know exactly how it would end.
I won't have a story to tell you anymore, this will be the last you will ever hear

How it all started

I didn't really get to explain a lot when I had her on the phone. I felt like I had a lot of things that I had to tell her and I didn't exactly know where to start.
I hung up after realizing she didn't really have the time to talk to things over, and I'm like "why do I even bother?".
I reached out for the hand set one more time and tried punching in a few phone numbers, it was funny I couldn't exactly remember who I was supposed to call.
I walked out of the phone booth and went down the street hoping I'd find something or someone. there I was, standing right underneath the sky and started really thinking hard about a lot of things.
I saw a couple of people staring at me, and they probably think I'm out of my mind. Well the things, I don't really care about what they say, but I wonder what they'd feel or how they'd react if they knew what I had in mind.... Hmm, maybe I'd love for them to figure that out.
There's just this one guy over the side of the street who's looking straight back at me. I'm trying to think of something or trying to come up of anything that he could be thinking of.
I mean seriously, If he knew what I was thinking he'd, be running for his life.
I took a shortcut on the way back when the lights went green, I figured, I just can't keep staring at people and hope some of them would come over to explain.
I kept on walking a couple more blocks and I knew I was getting tired of trying to think of something I always wanted. don't get me wrong, I want a lot of things but I just know I can't have them all.
And so I have stopped, I held out my hands up the sky and felt everything coming down, I wanted to tell him all that I've longed for, and to tell him that it was ok and I just know things are really going to be different.
I stood there for a while, when I suddenly heard someone call my name, and guess who!
I opend my eyes and there he was.... not too young anymore, but looks a lot younger than I do,
a bit stuffy but always on the go... My old man, he was staring at me the whole time and I had been too. This time I kinda think I knew what he was thinking.
He asked how I went thru my day and I said, well,
" life gives you everything you need, and it can really make you unhappy when you start looking for the things that you don't have. "
Seriously, he just smiled and gave me a pat. we went inside and that's how it all started.